Tips on How To Be a Sycophant, If You Already Aren’t One

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What Birbal was to Akbar, what Bellatrix was to Voldemort Guess? You know them by different names chamcha, ass-kisser, brown noser, suck up, yes man. You find them mushrooming everywhere even in the most unlikely places. Their job is the essentially the same, praise and garner favours from the ones who wield power. You’d be extremely lucky not to run into one in your lifetime. You might detest them, curse them, plan their exit but you cannot ignore them.

They smooth their way buttering the lanes for easy power and much needed recognition oblivious to the normal non-sycophant colleague. So what makes them so successful that earns them the ire of the lesser mortals who have yet to learn the tricks of the trade? It’s time to stop detesting them and join the bandwagon and flaunt the chamchagiri with aplomb and wear it like a tag of honour.

For those who are guessing for the ready recipe to be a sycophant here are a few practiced tips. Do follow at your own risk.

  1. Leave the Ego at the Doorstep: Ego is for losers. All our holy scripts tell us so. Don’t they? So here’s the tip. Elevate the boss or whomever you want favours from on a pedestal, and bow in front of him like you would in front of God and truly believe in his powers which can make your life. For those who are atheist, tough luck.
  1. Get to know the object of your affection: Leave no stone unturned. Be his birth-date, his pet peeves, his likes his fancies. His extended family tree and their fancies as well. No information is trivial enough. It’s better if you know if he prefers karela to bhindi before inviting him over to dine.
  1. Mirror his opinion: For those who did not know that a mirror is a man’s best friend. Know it now. I’m not talking of the “mirror mirror on the wall” kind of truthful variety. I’m talking about the one who talks only what one likes. Echo his opinion word by word, better still parrot it and regurgitate it when required.
  1. Smile: I mean it can’t be simple than this. Even in the face of a trashing you might face at times, just smile benignly, not smirk or not any other anger enticing variety and repeat in your heart the mantra for success “He’s my God, he’s my God. This is for my own good” and your God would see you through for sure.
  1. No Job is Small: Live your life by this motto. Be it walking the dog, cutting vegetables in his kitchen, or wiping his son’s bottom if he does not offer his own too readily. No job is too small to be ignored.

Finally, after following the above mentioned tips you would find your object of fancy offer you his bottom to be cleaned up only by you and no one else. In case the object gets transferred or leaves. Don’t lose heart. Just repeat the process. After all winning takes persistence and practice.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Madhulika_Ra_Chauhan/2165589

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Madhulika Ra Chauhan

Author, Mother, Wife...!!

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